Sex is like fine wine; it gets better with age. While the media paints people 50+ as disinterested in sex and intimacy, that’s just false advertising (but you knew that, or you wouldn’t be reading this article). In fact, a 2018 survey found that 76% of adults between 65-80 reported that sex was essential to maintaining romance, and 54% reported being sexually active. Having a healthy and active sex life into your
1.) Move your body
Your lifestyle choices significantly impact your overall health and sexual health. Some things never go out of style, like exercise. Physical activity is beneficial at any age, but it becomes more critical as we age. Exercise supports cardiovascular function and improves blood circulation, which is key to sexual function.
Cardiovascular disease and vascular issues are the largest contributors to erectile dysfunction (ED). Studies show that moderate to vigorous aerobic exercise four times a week can help treat ED. However, if that isn’t available to you, studies show that brisk walking, just a few times a week, can also sufficiently treat ED.
Men aren’t the only ones affected by cardiovascular disease; it’s the leading cause of death for women in the United States. While vascular issues present in men as ED, the equivalent for women may present as vaginal dryness, pain during sex, decreased sexual desire, and inability to orgasm. The CDC recommends 150 minutes a week of moderately intense exercise, such as brisk walking, or 75 minutes per week of more vigorous activity, like jogging or hiking.
Because pelvic health directly impacts sexual functioning in both men and women (yes, you read that correctly), Kegels are a commonly prescribed exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor, which weakens with age. However, check with your healthcare provider before undergoing any treatment or exercise plan.
Exercise increases the release of neurochemicals like dopamine and endorphin, which promote feelings of positivity and aid in the reduction of stress. If there’s one thing that kills the mood – it’s stress. If you’re feeling down, walk it out!
2.) Communicate with your partner.
Houston, we have a problem! Communication is key to any successful sex life, yet only 36% of older adults are willing to talk to their partners about sexual issues. While we inherit wisdom with age, we might also inherit health and hormonal changes that bring about sexual difficulties such as ED, vaginal dryness, and arousal disorder. 43% of women experience sexual dysfunction, and 52% of men experience ED at some point in their lifetime. Sexual issues only increase with age, as 70% of men over 70 experience ED, and a staggering 86.5% of menopausal women develop vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, and arousal disorder.
These difficulties can be a pain point in many relationships when they aren’t openly discussed, as they can spell the death of your sex life. If you or your partner are struggling with intimacy, it’s understandable that it may be difficult to talk about these issues, but rest assured, you’re not the only one. Chances are your partner is also experiencing similar issues.
People who communicate more openly with their partners about their desires and fears report more satisfying sex lives. After all, sex is a love language, and how many people communicate and express their feelings, so it’s pretty important to get on the same page so you can get it on. In addition, intimacy requires trust and vulnerability to flourish. Communicating with your partner opens the door to finding a solution or compromise together. Think of communication as an opportunity to connect on a deeper level with your partner. You may be surprised at how understanding and responsive your partner is to your fantasies or fears, and you may also be surprised to learn something new about them. Communication is the gateway to having a steamy sex life, so use your mouth for maximum pleasure.
3.) Introduce sex toys
If sex is adult playtime, then sex toys are a must for anyone trying to elevate intimacy. Sex toy technology has come a long way in a short time. From vibrating cock rings to sex swings, bondage kits, and Bluetooth vibrators, there’s something for everyone. Sex toys complement anyone’s sex life, whether solo or partnered. They can introduce new sensations that enhance the sexual experience in novel ways, which is vital for keeping the mystery alive in the bedroom. Sex toys break up the monotony of routine and allow you to reach new heights in pleasure.
Though, not all sex toys are created equal. Some have dual functions of increasing pleasure while helping with issues like ED and vaginal dryness, which are common in older adults. There’s a reason they say, “good vibes only,” and that’s because vibrators are proven aphrodisiacs. Vibrations are scientifically proven to increase blood flow and repair tissue.
Women who are menopausal or postmenopausal experience a decline in estrogen levels. Decreased estrogen can cause a reduction in vaginal elasticity, vaginal lubrication, reduced blood flow to the genitals, and a potential loss of libido. It’s typical for arousal and orgasm to take longer due to reduced sensation and blood circulation. However, when vibrations are applied to the genital area, it can increase desire, lubrication, and sensation. While there are many vibrators for older women, a popular best-seller is Crescendo 2.
Crescendo 2 is an ultra-flexible, bendable vibrator that is slim, smooth, and ergonomically designed for easy handling. Bendable is a beneficial quality as it allows you to bend and shape the vibrator to find the best fit for your unique body shape and size. One size fits all designs don’t consider personal preference, so customization is a major plus for maximizing pleasure. Crescendo 2 is so versatile; it’s like having four sex toys in one (and who doesn’t love to economize?). In addition to personalizing the shape to your preference, this vibrator is packed end to end with six motors that deliver powerful vibrations to key erogenous zones. This vibrator is great for precisely stimulating erogenous zones and even discovering new pleasure points you didn’t know you had.
As men age and their testosterone declines, so does erectile function. Vibrations applied to the right areas of the penis increase circulation, which can result in firmer, fuller erections. However, maintaining an erection is a whole different issue, which is why the male vibrator Tenuto 2 is a top pick for any man or couple.
When we think of vibrators, we often think of sex toys for women, but Tenuto 2 challenges that notion. Tenuto 2 is the first male vibrator designed to be worn by him. It’s an ultra-flexible electronic that fits most penis sizes, flaccid or erect. It sits comfortably at the base of the penis with flexible wings that act like a traditional cock ring to restrict blood to that area once erect. Four powerful motors positioned at key erogenous zones – the penis and the perineum – stimulate blood flow and supply sensation for harder, longer-lasting erections that feel incredible. To up the ante, if worn with a partner during sex, the three front motors stimulate her clitoris and vulva while stimulating the penis, bringing a whole new meaning to coming together.
4.) Try senior -friendly sex positions.
Diversity is the spice of life, so trying new and creative sex positions can do wonders to spice up your sex life and keep those aches and pains that follow us with age at bay.
Spooning
A classic for people of any age but a position most compatible for those with limited dexterity and knee issues. Both partners start lying on your sides while one snuggles up behind the other. Gently part the front partner’s legs, and you know the rest. If you’re feeling frisky and have more flexibility, lift the front partner’s leg over the back partner’s hip for a variation that will target the G-spot. Happy spooning.
Missionary
A timeless position that requires minimal athleticism and works for all ages and most mobility restrictions. With the female partner lying on her back and her legs parted, the male partner assumes the position between her legs and enters her, controlling the motions of his thrusts and speed. For more direct stimulation, prop her hips up with a pillow to ensure she’s feeling the heat too.
On a chair
Household furniture makes for great sex props. Have the male partner sit in a chair, preferably a stable chair that’s lower to the ground, i.e., not a bar stool. Then, while the female partner faces him, she mounts him, using the chair to help stabilize her movements. This position is excellent for deep and targeted penetration.
Sideways 69
69 is a party favorite but can require strength and stamina, so try the sideways variation for equal pleasure. Both partners start by lying on their sides, except one partner is upside down. Lying sideways relieves pressure from limbs and arms and removes unnecessary weight while giving you easy access to each other’s genitals. While in this position, you are free to pleasure each other with your hands, mouths, and tongues.
5.) Use lubrication, liberally
Can you imagine a hand job without lube? We didn’t think so… Wetter is always better, so include lubricant in all your sexual activities. Lubricant can create a silky-smooth surface that increases sensations and reduces friction or pain during penetrative sex or foreplay. And before you think about it, saliva is not a sufficient substitute for lubricant.
Using lubricant becomes especially important as we age because hormone levels decline both in men and women, which affects natural lubrication production. Over half of women who are menopausal or postmenopausal experience vaginal dryness and atrophy, which can cause sex to be painful. If the experience of sex for your female partner is painful or uncomfortable, chances are they won’t be enthusiastic about having sex, let alone often. While this is normal, it’s important to be proactive and substitute with lubrication. It’s also a considerate thing to do to use something that will only increase sensations and pleasure for both of you. So, when you play generously and use lube liberally!
Good sex doesn’t have an expiration date, and age doesn’t have to be a barrier to pleasure. Those wizened with time inherit a deeper understanding and appreciation of their needs and desires, and with the right tools and tips, you have the power to make pleasure timeless.
